Facing the crowd, I take a slight step back with my left foot, transferring my weight to my right before folding the left leg to settle on the knee, gracefully bringing my right knee down beside it–ensuring, of course, that I do not bring them too close together. In this position, proper space between my knees means proper exposure, and proper exposure is a must. This is also why, after settling to my knees, I fold my hands behind my neck, elbows spread wide, offering my chest to the audience.
This is position two. There are nine, but two is my favorite in the way of presenting oneself as a sexual offering, and quite possibly the way I would start my air sex routine, should I ever partake in the competition.
They have those, you know. Think air guitar, only instead of rocking out, you’re rocking out with your cock out, so to speak.
Like most other bizarre/awesome sex-related phenomena, air sex got its start in Japan when a group of bored dudes with no girlfriends decided simulation was better than nothing. A video of their shenanigans went viral, the blogosphere and press picked it up, and less than a year later, Austin’s Alamo Drafthouse was holding regular competitions, which quickly became sold-out events.
This year, they’re taking the show on the road to 15 North American cities, among them: San Francisco, San Diego and Los Angeles. The finalists will all converge to fight for the title of Air Sex World Champion.
Come on, you know you want to.
Details
Date: Friday, June 26, 2009
Time: 6:00pm
Location:
The Echoplex
1154 Glendale Blvd.
Los Angeles, CA 90026
Tickets:
Ticket information will be made available at on the Air Sex World Championships Tickets section later this month.
Registration:
If you are interested in competing in the LA championship, please contact chris@airsexworldchampionships.com
Rules:
Time: Contestants have a maximum of 2 minutes to perform an air sex routine. This can include all phases of an air sex encounter: meeting, seduction, foreplay and intercourse, or you can simply cut to the chase.
Music: Competitors must perform to music, you can either bring a CD of your performance track with you, or you can choose from our selection of air sex music. You may also include an audio prelude to your performance, maximum of 30 seconds.
Other Rules: Unlike air guitar, there are not many other rules. Props are allowed, teams are allowed, talking is allowed. The only important rule is that all sexual climaxes must be simulated, not real.
Keep up with Air Sex World Championship news on Twitter by following @airsex.
(Photo from airsexworldchampionships.com)
