Tis the season for some wacko to try to blow himself up on an airplane. Now you get to pay the price with tighter security and more pointless rules, yay!
I mean, I don’t know if you’ve flown lately but it’s already a beyond hellish experience, especially so when traveling internationally. How could they possibly make it worse? By depriving you the right to your own electronics of course. Has it really come to this?
The latest (which is still awaiting official confirmation from the TSA) is that passengers are now being asked to not use electronics during the last hour of the flight. This is especially troubling because that last hour tends to also be the most uncomfortable leg of the trip. Even more troubling for us geeks who physically can’t go an hour without touching some type of gadget.
Forget about your iPhone kids, nothing says terrorist like white ear buds and a glowing palm. Your best bet is to get yourself a Kindle and scream “praise be Jeff Bezos!!“. Yes the Kindle is going to be very last hour friendly.
Let me know show you why:
1. The Fake Book Cover
Put it in a bible and NOONE will fuck with you!
No power no problem! Place your Kindle in its analog cousin and bam! Out of sight, out of mind. You can pickup these hallow books on various websites like Etsy or even make your own. Hide your techno-hipsterness and electronic shame all in one swoop.
2. Text To Speech and the In-Flight Entertainment Decoy
Pretending to use the airlines crappy in flight entertainment is a great decoy.
The Kindle also comes with a Text-to-Speech option. While many books restrict this feature (authors make too much money selling audio books too), many PDF books and the subscription based content allow it. While reading hold down the shift key and hit the SYM button to get started. Then put the Kindle out of view and pretend you are listening to the in-flight entertainment. Be sure to use the crappy provided headphones for more authenticity.
3. Kindle Peek a Boo!
“Where’s my little next generation reading device, THERE YOU ARE!”
This one is risky but just might work, introducing the Kindle Peek a Boo! Simply place your Kindle in the pouch of the seat in front you horizontal style. Before you do this bump up your font just a tad for better readability. A true expert of the Kindle Peek a Boo can actually change the pages with his knees.
4. Download the e-Terrorist Watchlist
Simply show this to the flight attendees upon departure.
It seems the air travel industry doesn’t bother checking various terrorist watch lists these days when booking passengers. So before getting on any flight you should probably download a copy of the real terrorist watch lists to your Kindle. Then if there is any protest to you using the device during a flight simply show them the list. Bonus points for helping the struggling air lines cross-reference other passengers.
Happy travels!
(Top photo by: bump)
