Why: I like easy games. I like city-building games. But I don’t like a game with no challenge. Especially if that game gets my long-lost relatives and friends to contact me after years, only to say “Come rake my cornfields!” This is utter bullshit.
Replace with: Texas Hold ‘Em. You need a game where you earn endless points that don’t get you anywhere? May as well learn how to play a real-world game and get shafted a bit less on your next Vegas trip (all people who like Facebook games like Vegas). It’s even by the same company, so you can still get swindled by “free” Netflix offers.
Why: It’s the Dane Cook of webcomics. “Why I believe printers were sent from hell!” Ha ha! That is funny because I have had trouble with a printer in the past! No punchlines needed in an Oatmeal comic; simple observations anyone could make, coupled with an “I’m so random!” joke about a bear or a penguin, are enough for this half-assed comic.
Replace with: Tom Oatmeal. Same name, much funnier. “Good afternoon. I am trying to expand my horizons by acting in movies and shows like the BMX rapper does and like Steven Seagull does and so please hire me. I am very diverse and convincing and can play a number of challenging roles. In fact, a lot of what I do on a daily basis is acting. ‘You’re pregnant?! Of course I’ll support you.’ – Acting.”
Why: Not the content. Of course it’s a collection of stupid news stories and funny bullshit people found on the internet. So is, like, every blog these days. The problem is that Digg’s commenters offer no value. Plus the site keeps tricking you into clicking onto other Digg pages instead of going to the shit that was supposedly so interesting it needed a hundred thousand people to go look at it and overload the server.
Replace with: Reddit, where you can sort comments by “best” to read just the most popular, brilliant comments. Redditors are better than Diggers at voting up the interesting side notes and punchlines. Or try Fark, where the jokes are in the headlines themselves.
Why: There’s no real YouTube of porn. Several sites are still fighting for dominance: RedTube, PornoTube, YouPorn. So on each one, you’ll be missing out on some content.
Replace with: Fantasti.cc. It aggregates porn from all the sites above and several others, including T’n'A Flix, Xtube, Shufuni and XHamster. You can rate the porn, build your own collection, and explore other users’ collections to find someone whose tastes match yours. You can even look through user photos, where apparently actual women post nude photos of themselves. For everything missing at Fantasti.cc, there’s the Big List of Porn.
(Photo from rapprint.co.uk)
