Stereotypes for Users of 40 Websites: Volume 2

→ by Nick Douglas < @nick >
at 9:00am Mar 25, 2010

Well, over 60 thousand of you loved my list of stereotypes for the users of 40 top websites (some of you lied and pretended to only mildly like it). So here are 40 more!

  1. MySpace: Poor people.
  2. ASmallWorld: Rich people.
  3. Consumerist: Rich people who pretend they’re poor people.
  4. Fox News: Some Reddit user who’s really pissed that someone sourced Fox but relieved because he has Adblock on so technically he’s stealing content.
  5. Google.co.jp: Japanese, duh.
  6. Google.co.de: Germans, duh.
  7. Google.cn: Americans searching for “Tiananmen Square.”
  8. Yahoo: 40 million soccer moms and one guy who’s really confused about where the directory of the internet went.
  9. Flickr: People who think cranking saturation to 200% makes you a professional photographer.
  10. Deviant Art: People who think drawing in a Moleskine makes you a professional artist.
  11. Ask.com: Me, finding one great result for “Klingon porn,” in 1999 (true story).
  12. LinkedIn: Pretty much everyone, so give up and apply at McD’s.
  13. Apple.com: Idiots during an Apple announcement.
  14. Gizmodo: Idiots who know more about gadgets during an Apple announcement.
  15. Engadget: Idiots who know more about gadgets and got frustrated with Gizmodo’s load time during an Apple announcement.
  16. Microsoft.com: Utter blithering morons who thought they’d get off easy after the last three items.
  17. Photoshop.com: People about to be bitterly disappointed.
  18. Match.com: People about to be bitterly disappointed.
  19. Lalawag.com: People who’d better not be fucking disappointed. I will knife you.
  20. McDonalds.com: A really confused stoner and a million people giving up on LinkedIn.
  21. Pornhub: Guys who’ve seen everything on Pornotube.
  22. CNET: People buying a new gadget.
  23. TechCrunch: People who think they are too smart to read Mashable.
  24. Bank of America: People who get so excited they have to show their photogenic relatives, according to the same stupid Hulu ad I’ve been watching all day.
  25. Hulu: ‘Office’ fans.
  26. Torrenthound: ‘Daily Show’ fans.
  27. Godaddy: Someone who really thinks “sexcessful.com” is gonna make her a million bucks instead of just cost her ten.
  28. PayPal: Someone who gets charged a million bucks each time she transfers ten.
  29. Verizon, RR.com, and Comcast: OH MY GOD HOW DO I CHANGE THIS STUPID SETTING.
  30. eFax: JUST LET ME SEND THE GODDAMN FAX ALREADY WHAT CENTURY IS THIS.
  31. Rageguy.com: FFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-
  32. Yelp: Insanely touchy restaurant-goers.
  33. Mozilla: People in the happy process of re-installing everything on the new computer.
  34. Ning: I seriously have no idea and yet it’s huge.
  35. Twitter: People whose first tweet was “Trying out this Twitter thing” and are now really embarrassed about that.
  36. TwitPic: People who hope Taylor Swift is naked this time.
  37. Rapidshare: People waiting 15 more seconds.
  38. Cracked: A guy who wishes he’d written this.
  39. eBaum’s World: A guy who will claim he wrote this.
  40. Trololololololololololo.com: God.

About the Author: Nick Douglas

My book was so bad it destroyed publishing. What have you done?

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