Now normally El Jefe Percival demands that I write about Los Angeles twitters, but considering the fact that Haiti is a topic that crosses not only states but international lines, I thought an exception might be made.

First let’s shame a few people. Here we have the erudite twitterati sharing their opinion about how much they don’t care about Haiti. In fact, they don’t care so much that they felt the need to twitter about how much they don’t care:

And you people think I’m insensitive! Wow. These people have a right to their opinion, such as it is, but COME ON. At least we can’t say that celebrities aren’t stepping up to the plate. In the fine tradition of the rich giving the most to charity, several of the famous and fortunate are using twitter to send hope and money to the earthquake stricken island:

There are obviously many ways you can contribute to the Haiti relief effort, and many many people, celebrities and citizens, who are tweeting support for those affected. Twitter can be used for snark material, or it can be used to bring attention and relief to those in need. Which kind of tweet would you post?

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Mike was the brand/social media guy for the Kogi taco truck that serves you Yoshinoya in a tortilla and calls it a viral food-nomena. You can thank him for the totally ignorant and pompous phrase “the Kogi Effect”, because God knows every single thing that gets huge in two weeks needs its own catchphrase.

Not that there’s anything wrong with being good at what you do, and Mike was very, very good at turning a rolling gimmick into a culinary sensation. You probably think Mike got rich off this venture, right?

Wrong. It seems following allegations (via deleted tweets) of misuse by Kogi, Mike Prasad has finally confirmed that he is no longer with the ungrateful company he basically put on the map.

Yes, you read correctly; Mike will no longer be putting up with Alice Shin’s taco-fueled demands – and by all accounts she is VERY demanding, to put it nicely. Several sources claim she is a “complete pain in the ass to deal with”. She is no doubt tossing beef all over the truck at the thought of losing the man behind their success.

I say good for Mike. He took a task that was challenging and probably unfulfilling and turned it into a roaring success beyond all expectations. He could – all problems with Kogi aside – be quite proud of what he accomplished. Without his genius for grass-roots marketing, Kogi is now just a bunch of orange taco trucks driving around LA.

Our advice? Hit the grilled cheese truck. Better food, and less attitude. And if you see Mike, congratulate him. He is moving on to bigger and better projects with his head held high, and he deserves it. He stood up to the Orange Terror, and it made a man out of him.

Sketch of Kogi BBQ truck by SHIHO NAKAZA

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Everyone but me, that is! I have no life, so instead I will spend Christmas Eve parsing your twitter accounts and  making fun of the unfortunate statements you think the entire world needs to read.

Mike Prasad managed to sound like a wimp AND rub the Los Angeles weather in my face:

Wow, it’s sunny and 60 degrees in Los Angeles. Wearing sunglasses and a warm jacket together just feels weird to me..

Francisco Dao is so desperate that anything looks good at this point:

Gangster looking Black guy on BART had a pink Sanrio bag and pink Victorias Secret bag :)

Mike Rhoads makes me wonder about that whole correlation and causation theory:

90% of all my Christmas shopping is done at Liquor stores.

Made a couple wrong turns this evening,,,,currently at a house party in dormont where everyone is like 19 or 20.

Well, here’s hoping he had a few presents left over by the time he got home.

And finally this week’s random tweet from a non-LA person! Boy George is trapped in his house without milk because you people just can’t leave him alone:

Wanted to get milk, silly cunt with camera outside, called him ‘pathetic’, came back inside, glamour!

I didn’t even know Boy George was still alive, much less pursued by the paps, but I’m happy to see he still believes in glamour.

Next week I look forward to mocking your New Year’s Eve plans! Try to do somthing exciting for me to belittle. In the meantime, try not to freeze out there in the 60 degree weather. Happy Holidays!

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I’ll be looking each week off the official lalawag twit list, if you’d like to be included please let us know in the comments. If you’d like to be excluded please let us know so we can double up on your coverage.

Basically Sean tells me that most of you are horrible tweeters and really need a good smack. Since he is too “busy” and “nice” to do it right he has hired me to. Yes he is actually paying me to do this so I’m pretty sure that does make me a professional troll.

Fine by me, lets see what has the uppercrust of LA tech been up to this week.

Sean Percival hates people having cyberflirts:

whatever girl is flirting with @tonyadam on IM please stop so we can finish our conv. about upcoming events and SEO etc

Later his wife did the “I overheard this…” to inform Sean that he needs to look into some of those nose strips:

OH via wife: “you have a snoring problem that only surfaced after we got married, if I had known this going in…”

Maybe if he spent less time passed out in his omgawesome desk chair Laurie wouldn’t wake up thinking a train was coming through the living room.

Alyssa Milano is pimping the shit out of some show:

I’m sitting here day dreaming about going to work on @RomChallenged. I can’t wait to start shooting.

It’s about a group of friends that are “romantically challenged”. RT @SCB8: Sounds like fun! What’s the premise of the show?

I’m going to need everyone’s help when “Romantically Challenged” premieres. Small window of opportunity for success.

Since everyone’s already seen her boobs I’m not sure what the draw to watch it is, but hey, in 6 months when it comes out I’ll be sure to forget to watch.

Shira Lazar hates holiday spirit…

People that put decorations on their car- somewhat questionable…

…unless it makes her the center of attention:

just performed summer lovin’ with my co-host at xmas party! i think i lost my voice trying to reach those notes

AV Flox is either trying to write an Evanescence song or trying to sound deep. Either way, ewww:

Wallpaper Los Angeles in napkins covered in desperate songs–that’s how I love, in pixel and ink

I hand over my flesh and my secrets, my skeletons, torments and truths, and hope that you’ll kiss them and put them to sleep.

I can’t ask for anything. You’ll come on your own. In the meantime, I’ll wallpaper Los Angeles, write you these things and set them to sea.

She’s like one of those girls you knew in college who wore a beret for no fucking reason, and quoted Emily Dickinson. Then she would drink all your Boone’s and cry about how she was so deep that no one understood her, and she doesn’t care if she IS alone forever, she won’t betray who she IS. You know, that girl.

Francisco Dao is still sitting around being a sexually frustrated loser:

Earlier tonight I was at a party with peeps about 50 years old. All I can say is I have seen the future and it is grim :(

Everyone knows Social Media is a whole lot like High School but I’m hearing some SERIOUS H.S. drama now #DramaLikeASoapOpera

Awesome and Bizarre – I just got a call from the restroom attendant at Bare Elegance strip club trying to buy my book

For all the single guys out there…snatch her up before someone else does RT @iamlawless is this a good time to say I’m now single?

That’s right. The Man Who Can’t Get Laid is giving you dating advice. How long has it been since he’s seen a vagina? Maybe he should email Flox.

Stayed tuned next week as I deface even more of your pointless ramblings!

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