If you want to hire this guy check out his portfolio.

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/via Inquisitr

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Wait, what does that mean?

Actually forget about what, how would one even enforce a ‘no technology event’? Sure we had fantasies like the Microsoft Security Team using one of those AWESOME body scanners like you saw in the movie Total Recall. Alas, I don’t think security was that tight considering local secret agent man @GeorgeRuiz twitpic’d a whole bunch of photos.

Let’s take a look at the event which featured a unique performance from @Cirque.

Felcia Day and Billie Crystal playing invisible video games, pretty normal night in downtown LA.

Oh great, matching outfits, I think we know where this is going…

Binary elephant FTW!

Here we go again, #flashbacks

SPOILER ALERT! THINGS HAPPEN

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There’s just something inherently cooler about black. Something the other colors just don’t have.

YES I’M TALKING TO YOU ORANGE.

Turns out @Sonos, makers of those insanely cool all-in-one wireless music systems, agrees. They just released the Sonos S5 unit in stunning black and it looks GREAT. Prior to this, units were only available in beige-ish, great for your nerdy uncle but not you. No you’re reading @lalawag so already we know you’re much cooler than that. So cool in fact you want to own this awesome black music machine and control it via your iPhone or iPad Touch like some kinda of Jedi. That would be awesome, no?

Well here’s your chance to win one from the good folks at Sonos and lalawag. To enter simply fire off a mighty tweet like so:

I want to win a @Sonos S5 from @lalawag because _______

Fill in the blank with why you should win. Be fun, be creative and of course keep it classy. You have until Thursday 6/3 at midnight to get your tweet in. We’ll pick our favorite and post the winner here on Friday 6/4/2010.

*UPDATE: Congrats to our winner @alexeypro !!!(!)

In the meantime get your gadget lust on below with these first shots of the Black Sonos S5.

Learn more about these units at www.sonos.com/S5demo.

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The app has been in development for some time now, at least since late last year. Seesmic CEO @loic has mentioned the app in the past but only to say it was not ready. He also went on to say something like he wanted it to be “perfect”. Of course some might argue Tweetie (now the official Twitter iPhone app) was already perfect. Those folks might even be right. However if this app isn’t perfect it’s pretty damn close.

The main UI consists of something Seesmic is calling “spaces”. In some sense it feels like a mini social OS, or in this case mobile OS. Similar to the home screen of the iPhone, you have a grid of tiles you can move around and rearrange as you see fit. Each tile can connect to things like a Twitter account, Facebook login and even things like Twitter search queries.

Seesmic “Spaces”

I’m still poking around and getting to know the Seesmic iPhone app. You can check it out yourself now in the app store and watch the below video for the guided tour. If you look closely you might even see a lalawag tweet pass by.

/via Seesmic Blog

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Always the showman, Calacanis plans to broadcast his Facebook deletion live on the Internet. In an email dispatched today he gives his reasons for the social media seppuku:

“Simply put, I no longer trust Facebook or Mark Zuckerberg with my information.

Additionally, Facebook has become a waste of time for me. Every minute I put into Facebook is a minute I will never get back. It’s time I could have spent writing one of these emails to you guys, finding new startups to invest in, working on Mahalo.com (almost profitable!) or spending time with my family.”

Calacanis goes on to say:

“We signed up with Facebook to share photos and updates with our friends and families. You duped and double-crossed us by giving *your* partners *our* private information so you could begin your world domination plans one Javascript include at a time.

Essentially, Facebook is reselling our data in order to get websites to add the “Like” button. It may not be a cash transaction yet, but it is clearly quid pro quo. If you want to give the world a gift, how about letting us export our own data?”

And finally offers some alternatives to Facebook:

“If you’re tired of Facebook’s games, I suggest that you use the following services: Twitter.com for Updates, Flickr.com for Photo Sharing and Geni.com for your family tree. Those three services are much better for their individual functions (updates, photos and family connections) than Facebook!”

What are your thoughts on Jason’s comments and forthcoming “unliking” of Facebook?

Do you plan to join him Friday or participate in other anti Facebook movements like the Facebook Protest?

If you share this post on Facebook will a kitten die? Best to try and find out.

/via The Jason Nation Mailing List

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Ya well guess what? Smart guys like Mark Suster (@msuster) and Jason Calacanis (@jason) don’t exactly want to meet your parents, regardless of how nice they may be. Maybe after you sell something they invested in, sure, but not before.

Forget about the big guys. What about your humble team? How many meetings at Starbucks can you have before you lose all dignity? I’m thinking like 10 max. So you’re going to need somewhere to go to collab and meet. Introducing @TheCoLoft, a shared work space in Santa Monica. We caught up with founders Avesta Rasouli (@avestar) and Cameron Kashani (@CameronKashani) to learn more bout the space.

Here is what they had to say:

Learn more about the Coloft at www.coloft.com and follow them on Twitter via @thecoloft

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I mean I can’t be the only one feeling Obama is not the tech savvy President his teams of social media consultants mislead us to believe. After his recent comments at Hampton University one might be even more concerned. “I don’t get technology!” “I’m like old(!)” “Look at me, now look there, I’m on a horse!”.

Where did we go wrong? Maybe it’s already time for some more change. Maybe it’s time to think different. Maybe it’s time we had less slogans of revolution.

Tell us what to do Bill:

/via Mediaite

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“With iPods and iPads and Xboxes and PlayStations — none of which I know how to work — information becomes a distraction, a diversion, a form of entertainment, rather than a tool of empowerment, rather than the means of emancipation.”

Jeez, even our most tech savvy present can’t resist the time-tested  ”I’m old! I don’t get technology!” jokes. Is this guy the President or a caveman lawyer? I really can’t tell.

To his credit, he did go on to say:

“You’re coming of age in a 24/7 media environment that bombards us with all kinds of content and exposes us to all kinds of arguments, some of which don’t always rank all that high on the truth meter,”

OK  — now that is pretty accurate.

However in the never-ending parade that makes up today’s news cycles, it’s hard to fault anyone looking for a distraction. Death in a foreign country? Meh, what’s happening on Twitter? Some horrible natural disaster? Sorry too busy playing Plants and Zombies. Brett Michaels on the brink of death? Dude! Load up some of those classic Poison tracks on the iPod.

Technology really is wonderful.

/via MacDailyNews

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Big congrats to Tetherball who took first place at the event. Think location based service and event planning. Also look for super hero like investor @msuster to put money into these guys, like yesterday.

Oh and lest we forget, we snapped a few photos during our visit. Special thanks to @theCoLoft who provided such a great space for the event.

Chalk it up to the geeks.

Wow, my hair looks great from the back too? I wish someone would of told me. Here organizer @marcnager tells me something I probably should be remembering.

The worlds next truck food aggregator Roll.io is being built here.

No matter what time zone, these guys are running out of time!

The pitch from @tetherballapp

Say cheese!

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Some of those smart guys at the forefront of social graph whoring are found in Federated Media (FM). Founded by John Battelle, an industry leader in search, with good hair, FM works with a bunch of well-known publishers and helps them replace teeth-whitening adverts with boring but high-paying campaigns from Microsoft. Publishers do like money, so normally this would be a good thing.

After checking our sources at various publications that use FM or have in the past, we hear both good and bad things. Some are very happy with the service, others not so much. A few conversations about FM actually felt like ex-girlfriend breakup stories that I had to slowly step away from (AWKWARD).

We don’t have much personal experience with FM: despite several attempts they never returned our calls, emails or even tweets. We literally tried every method but I guess we aren’t a good match for them. Perhaps it’s because I write articles with ”Jerk Them Off” in the title? Too hard to say.

In any case, and cutting the chase, local mommy blogger and trouble maker Jessica Gottlieb recently crossed paths with them and, as usual, can’t shut up about it. Apparently after blogging about FM she received an interesting comment from someone named ”Jackmayofferr”, get it? WAKKA WAKKA. Normally witty comment troll names are a dime a dozen, but in this case it appears the troll might actually be a Federated Media employee. Let’s look closer.

Jessica, who likely watches too much CSI, checked the IP address of the comment troll and sure enough, it points to a user in San Francisco and even labels the ISP as Federated Media Publishing.

Hmm that’s strange and not normal? Is that John Battelle himself or some lowley underling at FM? Who knows.

I actually can appreciate an employee fighting for his team in the comments. I do it all the time, much to the dismay of MySpace PR. However I usually do this under my real name, or at least cover my tracks a little better.

You can follow the story in more detail over at jessicagottlieb.com.

Previously on lalawag:

• Save the Date and Maybe a Life
• Online Dating Will Probably Turn Me From Single to Single and Alcoholic
• TwitVid: The Only Video Tweeting App For BlackBerry

Of course Apple product teardowns are the most enjoyable. You never really know what is to be found inside of their devices. Secret circuit boards? Yes! Multiple antennas and other wierd stuff? Yes! Steve Job’s soul? Location still unknown.

Here are some of the photos from their recent victim, the iPad 3G. Not for the iSqueamish:

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Shot with the fancy RED Camera and the same post processing used on films like Avatar, the short has a well refined style despite its small $5000 budget.

Check it out below and make sure to go HD and go big (full screen):

/via Laughing Squid

/more on Facebook

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She’s someone I’ve been lucky enough to met and get to know recently. I guess first you should understand that @ranajune embodies a lot of things that make our industry so amazing. I’m talking about things like drive, creativity and of course a passion for the craft.

That craft (which previously included work with master composer @bt) is something totally new. Actually she’s probably the first iPad DJ out there using nothing but two jesustables and a mixer. Gizmodo recently caught up with her and I was also able ask her a few questions.

Here is what she had to share:

A lot of people bought iPads during the launch – you bought several. What are you up to with all those magical devices?

I was one of those crazy people in line overnight to pick up my iPad, even though I had a reservation!

The inspiration for Destroy the Silence came from my research the night before the launch of the iPad as I scoured the App Store for the coolest iPad apps available pre-launch. I kept finding these amazing apps and for some reason, I decided to download them, even before I even had the iPad! I suppose I thought there was a chance that the App Store would go down or something ridiculous like that, leaving me with this magical iPad and no apps to play with.

So here I was, $200 later (that’s a lot of apps, by the way), with a ton of cool iPad apps I couldn’t use, and I realized that most of them were music creation apps. Fortunately, the IK Multimedia apps, the Groovemaker series, were also available on the iPhone, so I spent about 4 hours of my time in line waiting for the iPad to go on sale doing beat-matching with these apps. I was instantly hooked. I checked out the screenshots of the apps I’d downloaded and it seemed that they made the process of live music sequencing pretty easy. I purchased my iPad and got to work that day.

How does it work?

The first 10 days of my experiment were spent getting accustomed to the sound libraries that are currently available on the App Store and within the apps. It was really important to me to only use apps that are readily available on the App Store. I wanted to showcase the capabilities of these devices, so importing my own sounds and other plug-ins seemed like it was defeating the purpose of the experiment. I got pretty comfortable with the loops and drum machines and sequencers on iPad by day 10.

I purchased my second iPad on day 11, along with the set-up I currently have. I wanted to make it as simple as humanly possible. I’m using three audio splitters from RCA to 1/8th inch jack – two for the iPads and one for the output – and one very basic DJ mixer. All I needed was a crossfader, really. I have no effects on the mixer. I would eliminate that entirely if I could but the reality is that without a USB connection on the iPad (for now) and the fact that the apps are still pretty buggy, I needed a hedge in case something went wrong during a live performance. So for now, that’s my set-up! I also use a pre-amp/audio interface for recording, but I am adamant about not using any laptops or synths for the performance – just two iPads, that’s it.

What apps are you using to make this happen?

I really like Looptastic HD. I’d say that’s my favorite to use for this project because I can morph beats from hip-hop to breakbeats to progressive house seamlessly. I use all of the IK Multimedia apps, as well as the Korg iElectribe app. iDaft has become a favorite for throwing people off during the set. Pianist Pro is fantastic and I open the set using Beatwave. All of these apps were deployed before the iPad even launched, so I know that the capabilities and sound libraries are only going to get better and better and better. I can’t wait!

You recently had your first iPad gig, how did it go?

It went much better than I expected, to be honest. I was not sure what people were going to think seeing this simply set-up with so many crazy sounds and effects and loops going on, but I ended up playing for almost an hour! It had only been 4 days since I’d created the set-up I’m currently using, so I expected some glitches and hiccups, but all in all, it was a great set. I’m planning some amazing surprises for my shows this summer.

What’s next for the iPad as a music platform?

Now that a fair number of people have seen the iPad, played with it, and thought carefully about the modality of creating music apps on it, I’m sure that the next generation of apps that will be developed will really push the boundaries of what’s possible on not just iPad, but mobile platforms in general. I am really fascinated by the implications of moving from hardware devices to software. The ease of pulling out two iPads, plugging in a few cords and playing makes me wonder about the fate of these complicated and ornate audio systems that are currently the standard. When DJs moved to Serato from turntables, it ruffled features but eventually the industry grew to adopt the new protocol and I think that’s what’s going to happen with the iPad. I think a lot of bands are going to start including iPad elements into their live sets, particularly when multitasking comes into play. I’d love to be able to record audio from the iPad as well. All of this will come, it’s just a matter of time. I’m just glad to be able to watch the growth of mobile computing from the driver’s seat. It’s a great time to be alive.

—

It certainly is, thanks for taking the time to talk with us.

For more:

Catch the video @scobleizer did early today.

Follow the rest of the story at www.destroythesilence.com and on Twitter @ranajune.

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Earlier today Gizmodo posted photos and video of a next generation iPhone due out later this year.

/via Hoggworks Studio

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Car makers have long wrapped their new prototypes in last year’s body while they road test. Although it’s hard to believe Apple would let a next generation baby so far away from the farm.

What do you think?

*Update! It’s fake…

*Update2! This might actually be real http://gizmodo.com/5520164/

*Update3! The guy who lost the iPhone? Gray Powell.

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The ocassion? Oh ya, there is one! We celebrated the next 10 companies admitted into part deux of the local mentorship program LaunchPadLA. These lucky and bright startups will get help from some of the best entrepreneurs and VCs in the area, and Jason Nazar (I kid Jason, I kid).

Here’s the complete list:

AccessDNA – AccessDNA is an online consumer resource for genetics. The company combines high-quality information about genetics, with tools that use family health history to help identify personal disease risk. By providing insight into the genetics of disease, as well as access to relevant testing, services, and support, AccessDNA helps people better understand how genetics can impact their healthcare and lifestyle decisions.

AwesomeBox – AwesomeBox, currently in stealth mode, has created a marketplace for flash sales. The company helps drive companies thousands – even millions – of new customers, by providing a platform for creating fun offers at unbelievable prices.

Circle Street – Circle Street has developed a cloud-based platform for merchants to publish to multiple distribution networks, including social, mobile and email. Today merchants have to partner and interact with multiple networks in order to publish messages and promotions on mobile and social networks. Circle Street’s aggregated network can help merchants be more efficient and effective with their time by publishing out to an aggregated network. The company’s analytics comprehensively monitors customer behavior over multiple networks, including location-based mobile networks.

DataPop – DataPop was founded by performance marketing veterans from Yahoo!, DoubleClick and Amazon.com to help marketers deliver the right ad message every time. The DataPop team is building a platform that enables real time creation and delivery of highly engaging ads to consumers on a massive scale. Its technology automatically generates the best combination of landing pages, targeting and ad copy for every individual product and offer available on a marketer’s website and in their local stores. DataPop launched its initial Search Marketing application across Google, Microsoft and Yahoo late last year and leading marketers and agencies are seeing breakthrough results. On average the platform is generating 30+% increase in conversions and 15% decrease in cost per lead.

Gendai Games – Gendai Games is an innovator in modern game design. The company develops game creation technologies enabled by the social web. Its technologies provide powerful tools and processes ideal for the creation of sophisticated games and interactive media. The company pairs its unique technology with social media to bring game creators and players together. Gendai Games’s mission is to advance game design and foster a community that empowers creative individuals everywhere.
Gyroscope Technologies – Gyroscope Technologies is rethinking the way consumers interact with their mobile phones. The company’s first offering will be a mobile retail commerce platform. The product focuses on the in-store behavior of consumers.

Laughstub – Laughstub helps consumers find live comedy shows that they would like with local listings, user reviews, video previews, favorite comedian alerts, and more. The company also helps venues and comedians bring more people to their shows through a powerful toolbox including an embeddable ticketing system, social media management applications, email hosting and more.

MOVIECLIPS.com – Launched December 2009 in Santa Monica, MOVIECLIPS.com is a premium online video destination offering audiences the largest and most diverse collection of movie scenes. MOVIECLIPS.com allows fans to find, watch and share more than 12,000 movie clips from the libraries of the major Hollywood studios. The company has opened its API to approved sites for distribution and approved developers who want to build games, etc. with the clips.

Para Ti Novia – Para Ti Novia is a LA based wedding website for the Hispanic market. Founded in 2009 by Candice Lapin, Para Ti Novia is part of a rapidly growing trend of bilingual media aimed at catering to both English and Spanish speaking Hispanics through both the web and mobile applications.
ShopNation – ShopNation, currently in stealth mode, is a next generation shopping platform launching in 2010.

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Here is how hot some of the folks looked on the red carpet via the lens of the Bui Brothers.

SEE MORE PHOTOS

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Like most ailing web properties in Silicon Valley, the new kegerator has even been plastered with a nice big logo. We do have to give them some credit though, starting off with some Stella was a good choice.

Drink up!

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I was lucky enough to see such tech at the Jet Propulsion Laboratory (JPL if you’re nasty) in Pasadena today. Thanks to local secret agent George Ruiz who arranged the field trip for several of us.

Here is what we found:

Xeni Jardin of Boing Boing at the alter of Jobs.

The stars and logos.

From the observation deck.

This thing actually has more parts than my Audi, barely.

Scientists!

The crew.

Geek last supper.

Messing around with an Infrared Camera.

This is what I look like, unsurprising my hair still looks good. See the other folks IR photos here.

Want to learn more about what’s going on at the Jet Propulsion Laboratory? Check out their website, follow them on Twitter and watch this handy video:

Previously on lalawag:

• 6 Ways To Make A Disaster Out Of Your Love Life
• You’re Welcome, TechCrunch!!
• Web 2.0 Expo: Chat with @laist

Yes she danced off her iAnticipation for the new device while several store visitors looked on with various levels of shock and mustaches. We do have to give her some credit here, it took some serious iBalls to do something like this.

(photo by iJustine)

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Here is what they might look like, click the image to enlarge.

/via College Humor

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Here is what they had to say:

/via Mashable

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Also miss it? Then enjoy some photos from talented local photog Anna Webber.

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Like last year, readers can vote for their favorite douchbags across a few categories like Entertainment, sports and politics. You can get started with round one here.

From Holy Taco:

Holy Taco is hosting the 2nd Annual National Douchebag Tournament, which runs on www.holytaco.com from 3/16/10 – 3/26/10.  The event consists of an Interactive Bracket Tournament (modeled after the NCAA College Basketball Tournament) that pits famous Douchebags against each other in a battle to determine the Nation’s Biggest Douchebag.  The tournament consists of 64 douchebags representing four Divisions: Entertainment, Sports, Politics, and Business.  Visitors to Holy Taco will have the opportunity to vote for each head-to-head matchup over the 10-day, 6-round elimination tournament to decide who will move on to the next round, and ultimately who will be crowned the Nation’s Biggest Douchebag.

Sample Bracket:

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Where else can so many of us geeks justify our existence and relevancy? Look here are 15,000 weirdos just like me! For others it’s just a great place to get tanked and finally score that hot PR girl you’ve been flirting with on Twitter with for LIKE EVER. For just about everyone it’s a place to connect, share, and form something offline.

Really SXSW can be a lot of things, none of which we really wanted to hear about. So we challenged the leaders of over sharing to distill their message into one simple word. Here is how they did.

Video features:

• Alana Joy
• Alexia Tsotsis
• Andy Sternberg
• Ben Metcalfe
• Brian Solis
• Cathy Brooks
• Chris Saad
• Damien Basile
• Erin Broadley
• Francisco Dao
• Gabe Rivera
• Jeremy Johnson
• John Boitnott
• Laura Fitton
• Lon Harris
• Loren Feldman
• Marc Hustvedt
• Mark Krynsky
• Micah Baldwin
• Michelle Oshen Feldman
• Nicole Gustas
• Nicole Jordan
• Pete Cashmore
• Robert Scoble
• Sean Percival
• Serena Ehrlich
• Tony Adam

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It’s also a great tool for stalking your friends.

Of course many SXSW attendees this year were happy to broadcast every spot they visited, even their hotel location. And while that may not include their exact room number that’s easy enough to come by thanks to the friendly front desk staff.

So we decided to see just how many people we could track down based on their last check-in of the night. We can not confirm or deny if there was some responsible drinking involved. In either case here is what we found when we tried to unlock the coveted “Annoy the crap out of your friends at 5am” badge.

*Update: Some took this joke better than others so we have updated the video to include the best call of the night, the one and only Gary Vaynerchuk:

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Instead lets start fantasizing about all the iPad-centric apps we are going to see. I really hope they look something like this…

iLantern

Remember those crazy popular “flashlight” apps for the iPhone? Well put on your sunglasses and turn on the iLantern! Now you’re cooking with fire!

Star Trek iPad Simulator

Oh please baby baby someone make this app! The iPad is clearly the first step towards an all knowing pad system as seen on just about any episode of Star Trek. I want the works. The sounds, the nonsensical data visualizations, oh and throw in Captain Janeway’s hair!

Board Games

Imagine having every board game ever made at your disposal. From the classic Monopoly to the new geek chic Settlers of Catan. Roll the dice with a wave of your hand, pass go and collect 200 Apply fan boy points.

Shoe Sizer App

Want to measure your feet and/or see how big someone’s penis is? Just open this app, plant your foot down and find out!

Lite Brite App

Look it’s an app even a girl can use! (JOKING) Remember how awesome the Lite Brite was? Easily assemble your warmly light masterpiece and use the new iPad stand to show off your work.

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Two things apparently even Google has an answer for…

2010 Super Bowl Commercials | Google: Search On

More Commercials:

• Docker: Wear the Pants
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• Cars.com Growing up 2010 Superbowl Commercial
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• Monster Job Hunt Super Bowl Commercial
• FLO TV: My Generation Commercial
• Dodger Charger 2010 Superbowl Commercial
• Harry Potter Superbowl Commercial
• Bud Light: Light House Commercial
• Papa Johns Delivers Super Bowl Video
• Megan Fox in a Bathtub Superbowl Commercial
• Denny’s Free Grand Slam Super Bowl Commercial
• Bridgestone: Tires or Wife?
• Google Search On Superbowl Commercial
• Census 2010 Super Bowl Commercial
• Kia Toy Fantasy Superbowl Commercial

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Clickly Clickly to enlarge.

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• The Story (so far) of the Apple Tablet

I give you, The Story (so far) of the Apple Tablet:

Click the image to enlarge…

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Produced by locals Steve Woolf and Zadi Diaz, Epic Fu has a rich history and dedicated following. Lucky for us, the show continues to march on. Let’s see how the night went in classic black and white style.

All photos by The Bui Brothers.

The rare chrome dome trifecta.

Casey McKinnon warms up her new laser eyes.

Steve Woolf plays happy neighbor.

Drew Baldwin takes a break from picking up web starlets to smile for the camera.

Peace.

Zadi!

Good times.

See more photos from the night (some in color!)

Check out some new Fu below:

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All photos by Wm. Marc Salsberry

Stations at the ready…

Disco ball warmed up…

The AWESOME awards. Yes those are gold old school floppy disks.

The woman behind it all, Erin Broadley shows us how she survives working for Bill Jensen.

Natasha Wescoat sits in Melissa Jun Rally’s lap and tells her everything she wants for Christmas this year.

Micki Krimmel and Drew Olanoff combine to create the Volton of AWESOME.

The Twins double up on Ricardo Bueno.

This happens every time I sit down, damn paps.

Alana Joy wants you to know her smile is better than yours.

Never forget…

See more photos from the night…

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Back in October 2007 while preparing for a holiday party, a sneaky Google Street View car just happened to pass by. Why doesn’t this ever happen to me when I’m bathing on my front lawn? Anyway, shown below you can almost make out where it says ‘Blob in the bath’. Higher resolution photos found on the bands MySpace page and the below video go on to mega confirm whatever this strange scene is.

Blob in the Bath! | MySpace

I guess if you’re going to get caught on Google Street View why not go all out? What would you want the Google Street View car to capture you doing? Let us know in the comments.

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It’s your chance to meet some of the SXSW organizers and of course all the great folks who make up the LA tech and gaming community. On top of that there are free drinks, music and one lucky person is getting a free ticket to the SXSW Interactive Conference in Austin Texas.

So come on by and get to know some of your fellow SXSW’ers, who knows you may be sharing a beer (or a bed) with them come March.

Details

Date: January 25th, 2010

Time: 7:00pm to 9:00pm

Location:
The Griffin
3000 Los Feliz Blvd,
Los Angeles, CA 90039 (map)

Tickets: Free while supplies last, must register by Friday Jan 22 on Facebook or here

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The ultimate culmination of black turtlenecks, geeks and gadget lust. The iPods, the iPhones, the classic line “One more thing”, it’s all so magical. The legend continues once again now that Apple has finally confirmed a January 27th event by sending out the official press invitations this week.

As they have in the past, the invitation includes a one liner. In this case it says “Come see our latest creation” along side a bunch of paint splatters. I mean, what does the much anticipated Apple Tablet have to do with creation? Maybe they are referring to how it’s going to create a new butt groove in my sofa from all that couch surfing I’ll be doing with it.

In any case, I’m a fan of these press invitations even though I never get them. So I went back a few years to see how these images and their messages have evolved. Please follow along as we look at the Apple press invites throughout the years.

There’s been a mix up…

Date: 02/22/2006

What is it: One boring ass invite that’s for sure!

What Happened: Turns out Apple geeks liked these press invitations so much they’ve held contests to create them. This one is bogus, next!

It’s Showtime

Date: 09/12/2006

What is it: Living in Los Angeles you see these search lights a lot. It’s showtime baby.

What Happened: Movies in iTunes and our first glimpse at the iTV, later renamed the Apple TV.

The beat goes on.

Date: 09/05/2007

What is it: Coverflow that features some hippy music and sunflowers.

What Happened: Lots of updates to the iPods while iPhone received a price drop down to $399. Full coverage on Mac Rumors.

Let’s Rock

Date: 09/09/2008

What is it: One of Apple’s supersaturated hipster kids does some awesome jump dancing in the old school iPod UI.

What Happened: HD is introduced to the iTunes store and the iPod received a refresh of both style and colors. Full coverage on Macworld.

The spotlight turns to notebooks.

Date: 10/08/2008

What is it: A monolithic apple notebook receives divine intervention from Apple’s other CEO, GOD.

What happened: Apple revealed their new unibody laptop construction and introduced the latest generation of the trackpad. Full coverage on Engadget.

It’s only rock and roll, but we like it

Date: 09/09/2009

What is it: Some hot blue chick air kicks and we presume she likes it.

What Happened: Steve Jobs returns after a short break, introduces iTunes 9 and some iPods get a camera. Full coverage on Engadget.

Come see our latest creation.

Date: 01/27/2010

What is it: Even if you smoked a lot of pot and stared at this I don’t think you would figure it out. Probably the only thing you would accomplish is eating a whole tube of cookie dough if that counts for anything. Our conclusion is that the new Apple Tablet is going to squirt color ink as a defensive measure (like a squid!).

What’s going to happen? Rumors and speculation are at absurd levels, even by Apple standards. At this point we’re going to see an Apple Tablet or a riot originating from the Yerba Buena Center in San Francisco.

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Via Sean Bonner

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Alex revealed the news in an email to friends today:

Well, it’s official: I’m excited to let you know about a couple big changes in my life: starting next week, I will be moving to New York City and taking a new position as Vice President of Operations with Yext.

In case you aren’t familiar with Yext yet, it’s the “Next Yellow Pages”; offering superior local services for advertisers, publishers and users, and is focused on perfecting the local advertising experience for business and consumers.

So while I can certainly appreciate that cushy new title… the next yellow pages, really? The only thing that’s next for my yellow pages is the recycle bin. Please let us know once you’ve done some of that operating so we can really get excited for you.

Oh and your membership to the Calacanis Protection Agency is in the mail.

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This epic song and dance catalogs what life is like in Silicon Valley, you know with the backstabbing and ruthless corporate greed. And here all this time I’ve been saying LA and SF are dramatically different, clearly my mistake!

Video by Alexia Tsotsis

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The accidental visionary behind Blame Drews Cancer took many of us on an emotional ride in 2009 as he personally battled cancer. However beyond his personal fight he also took the streets, or to the tweets I should say. Drew raised EPIC amounts of awareness and some significant money for the Livestrong foundation along the way. You can catch up with our previous coverage of Drew here, here and here.

I heard a wonderful rumor that Drew was back in Los Angeles so I caught up with him for a few questions. Let’s see what’s new in his ever changing and increasingly awesome world.

1. You had a huge year in 2009, what single moment really stands out to you?

I think the moment that stood out the most was how quickly BlameDrewsCancer.com got embraced and supported.  My original blog post didn’t have the title “I have Cancer”, I didn’t tweet “I have cancer”, just tweeted out the link.  It spread like wildfire.  It meant people actually read what I wrote and it struck a cord.

2. And how are you doing these days, health wise?

I’m doing well.  Had a biopsy a month ago and it didn’t go so great…a salivary gland was removed instead of a lymph node.  Kind of scared me, but it seems like my ability to spit is fine ;)  Feeling better and better every day, more energy, I feel more like “myself”. Mentally, I’m beat.  There’s a certain sense of “what just happened???”, but overall I have a way clearer perspective on life.

3. I hear you are living in LA now, whats are you up to?

Indeed, I’m in Marina del Rey (LOVE THE WEATHER!).  I’m Director of Community at GOGII, creators of the free texting app textPlus (iPhone, Touch, Android, Blackberry soon).  I worked here during my chemo treatments back home.  They were amazing to me.  I was diagnosed literally weeks after I was hired.  They stood by me then, and stand by me now.  I am very blessed and I love what I do.

4. Who inspires you?

People who don’t take no for an answer.  Anyone who has a passion to do whatever it is that makes them feel happy and centered.  If that’s volunteering, great.  If that’s building houses, awesome.  Whatever it is, doing it and not asking permission inspires me.  I came up with the idea for BlameDrewsCancer before I was officially diagnosed.  I knew that if I had to go through this, I was going to fight back the best way I knew how.

5. What’s next for drew?

Welp, Drew Carey now owns the Twitter name @Drew – I’m getting used to being @ThatDrew – sounds silly, but I feel tied to the “name”, since I went through such a difficult time with it and the folks on Twitter played such an integral part in my treatment and now healing.  But a million bucks for LIVESTRONG?  Not so bad.

Other than continuing to fundraise and help others who are battling cancer (I get emails and calls daily..and welcome them to call me at (623)-BLAMEIT any time), I have a few pet web projects that I’ve decided to put into action after sitting on them for a few years.  I have a project underway that I came up with 2 1/2 years ago and it still excites me, which means its time to build.

Afterall, tomorrow is never promised, and if you don’t do, you’re done.

Thanks for taking the time to chat with us Drew, and welcome back to lalaland.

(Top photo by: KK)

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Once the page fully loads go ahead and click the image to enlarge:

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But first let’s get to the headline and learn why Jason is in fact Tony Montana from Scarface:

Security Spy & Remote Patrol: Security Spy is a $300-400 software product that allows you to connect dozens of IP-based cameras to your home network. I’ve put six cameras in my home and I’m adding another four this week. In Month One, I’ve become a combination of the over-protective father and Scarface, sitting in my loft office with a big screen TV displaying video cameras from around the compound.

One can’t help but think of Jason actually doing this, cigar in hand each night while he asks the bulldogs “whosaaaa good girl, whooosa good girl?”.

Jason also goes on to give a lengthy rant about Obama and the middle east:

For over a year now, I’ve had the privilege of driving the world’s only in-production electric car and it is the most delightful and exciting driving experience of my life. RANT: For over a year, I haven’t visited a gas station and have been able to give the finger to the bastards in the Middle East who believe that women and gays are about as valuable as dogs, and that the freedoms we enjoy in the United States are the root causes of all evil. If Obama had any leadership ability, as opposed to his consensus-building nonsense, he would have taken the billions we’re going to spend in Afghanistan and simply spent that money on electric car and solar subsidies in America. We have to stop wasting our money building schools and bridges for backwards societies that don’t appreciate them and start spending that money on energy independence. There is no reason we couldn’t put solar panels on every rooftop in America, and electric cars in every driveway, instead of spending money fighting enemies that don’t want the freedom we’re promoting. Sorry about the rant, but I’m really frustrated that Obama, who I voted for, is such a disappointment. He was supposed to bring some innovation to politics and his policies feel no different than the failed strategies of Cheney/Bush (in that order). If I was president, I would cut our losses in the Middle East and stop sending any money there, instead investing it in nuclear, solar, wind and EVs. This is such an obvious solution to everyone except the idiots we put in power. Shame on all of us. END RANT

Now normally I would go on to make fun of such hippy talk…

However the way things are looking right now I’m more inclined to agree completely. The rant however was less popular with some of the commenters of TechCrunch where the email was syndicated. After reading some of those comments you might just think Jason needs that complex camera system after all.

To get these little gems in your email every so often sign-up for Jason’s list here.

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Crunchies – January 8th – San Francisco

The Oscars of the startup world, The Crunchies awards are hosted by TechCrunch, GigaOm, and Venturebeat. We plan to both attend and cover this event.

CES – January 7th-10th – Las Vegas

The famous and massive geek gadget orgy in the desert, CES. Check out TechZulu for live coverage this year.

Sundance – January 21-31 – Park City, Utah

Hob nob with the stars while you freeze your ass off in Utah at the Sundance Film Festival.

Mindshare – January 21 – Downtown LA

Have your mind both shared and expanded at Mindshare.

Media Leaders – January 26 – Los Angeles

Professionals making a positive impact at the nationwide Media Leaders event.

Twiistup – January 28th – Los Angeles

The entrepeneur showcase that is Twiistup returns once again.

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Don’t worry, we didn’t either until today when he opened up a little bitchfest on the BarCampLA Google group. The exchange was funny enough to make HackerNews under the title “How not to promote your new startup“. Certainly an appropriate title if you take a few moments from your busy day to follow the train wreck.

Pratt starts by telling his side of the story surrounding the recent failure of his company Fundable.com. We aren’t sure exactly what they did, but it sounds like they helped startups get funded or throw parties or something. I couldn’t be bothered to do much research, plus their site appears to be offline.  Actually Pratt has it redirected to his new venture, something about cell phones for hippies.

BarCampLA founder Sean Bonner had some issue with Pratt’s posting. Not just because Sean is literally too cool to be marketed to but because it just seemed out of place for the BarcampLA Group. It’s also really bad form to trash a former colleague while trying to promote your latest thing. Pratt started it off by responding with:

Sean, what have you even accomplished?  No one cares what you think.

You are a troll.

-John

Prompting Citrusbyte’s Will Jessup to add:

Holy crap – Don’t even respond. Who can ban this asshole from the list?

From there the conversation degraded to the point you might expect. However it seems that few extra nasty messages were held for moderation and not posted to the group. We’ve obtained copies of some of these emails and pulled out some of the more entertaining rants:

From Pratt to Jessup:

Great Will, you learned how to link to web pages with poor journalism. I would say most blogs consist of poor, unethical journalism. Is it a coincidence that NONE of those writers e-mailed me to get my side of the story or even ask what happened.

Mary Robinette’s project was VERY suspicious and looked completely like fraud. Over 90% of her donations were made in her name. The project was flagged for deletion. For whatever reason, it didn’t get deleted.

Guess who did e-mail me to ask what was going on? A New York Times writer.

Do you know why? Because he is a professional. That book, “Cult of the Amateur” sounds apt right now.

Anything that comes out of Cory Doctorow’s mouth goes right into your brain, doesn’t it?

From Pratt to Bonner:

You’re still a troll. Your accusation of “douchebaggery” is unjustified.

You should be on my side. I am one of the few individuals on this list who has significant experience starting a web startup from scratch and getting major media attention, such as NPR Marketplace. There are a few others on here that I know.

Organizing the first Barcamp event is a good thing, but I don’t have much patience for you when you attack me after I explain the emotional turmoil of 4-year startup that crashed and burned.

Maybe you like to watch it like a celebrity entering rehab. “What a loser!!”

From Pratt to who knows, perhaps his defense attorney:

I don’t care what you think, if you haven’t noticed. I do whatever the fuck I want.

Thanks for joining us for Great Moments in Google Groups, till next time.

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Yes you need to start convincing yourself (and maybe a spouse) to part with around $600 for this mythical device. Normally that’s no big deal for most techies, I mean you already have the iPhone, iMac and iDebt. What’s one more more i?

Well do you really need another? Probably, so let’s figure out how you can get it.

Happy tableting!

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Now, when you look closer at the stories of the Multivac, you can see a few parallels with Google. That is, there are enough similarities that Google engineer Neil Fraser was able to put together this interesting pictorial essay, probably on his 20% percent time.

Some of the more poetic (and relevant) quotes include:

If you have a personal problem, you may come to Multivac with it and with its knowledge of all of you, Multivac will be able to help you.

Of course, there was always a certain percentage of trivia: people who asked personal questions about their neighbors or obscene questions about prominent personalities;

Although I can’t help but feel the last quote and photo is meant to keep us up at night:

Can you imagine what the destruction of Multivac for even a short time would mean. The government would have collapsed; the economy broken down.

Bonus:
One of the first photos Neil uses (also used at the top of this post) caught my eye. It turns out that it is a mural painted in one of the Google Data Centers and it represents the Googlebot. Until this day we never really knew what it looked like, one had to assume the Googlebot resembled something like the Eye of Sauron from Lord of the Rings. Jeez, even this guy looks Asimov-inspired!

Learn more about the Google bot mural on Ben Rathbone’s website.

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I mean, I don’t know if you’ve flown lately but it’s already a beyond hellish experience, especially so when traveling internationally. How could they possibly make it worse? By depriving you the right to your own electronics of course. Has it really come to this?

The latest (which is still awaiting official confirmation from the TSA) is that passengers are now being asked to not use electronics during the last hour of the flight. This is especially troubling because that last hour tends to also be the most uncomfortable leg of the trip. Even more troubling for us geeks who physically can’t go an hour without touching some type of gadget.

Forget about your iPhone kids, nothing says terrorist like white ear buds and a glowing palm. Your best bet is to get yourself a Kindle and scream “praise be Jeff Bezos!!“. Yes the Kindle is going to be very last hour friendly.

Let me know show you why:

Happy travels!

(Top photo by: bump)

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Ok I admit it, these are sometimes fun to look back on. In a business where things can change so much from one year to the next let’s see how we did:

Hmm, I didn’t do so good huh? Maybe this is one tradition we can skip this year. If 2010 is going to be anything, let’s hope it’s not predictable.
(Banner photo by: Lucas Janin)

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